May my Fears be Lifted

Last night at the grocery store I had a very awkward, kind of scary, anger inducing moment. That's a lot of emotions in one sentence.....

I love my job. I do not do it because I want to make sure we have a world of skinny people. I do not do it because I believe that fat people are hard to look at. I do not do it because I want to rub the way I look into someone's face that hasn't reached their goal. I do it because God has put this desire in my heart to help people with their journey of becoming a better them . A healthier them. God did not put me in a place to judge them and He did not put me there to make fun of their size. I am their shoulder to cry on when they have had a bad day, and their person who just listens when they need to vent because they had a bad week. That being said, I can now go onto my shopping experience last night.

I chose to go to Krogers last night because I wanted to get some of the best produce and we all know that around here, Walmart does not cut it when it comes to produce. When I go to the store I am in the zone! I do not want to bump into anyone I know and sometimes I will go out of my way not to see someone because I just want the trip to be over. I know, sounds rude, but I do not want my trip to last longer then needed. This trip, I was stopped by a guy who would not leave me alone. At first I didn't think anything of it because he obviously was not into women, and was a skinny, frail looking guy. But then every time I tried to walk away he wouldn't let me, or would follow me. He asked me what I did for work, and I told him that I worked for Weight Watchers. This opened up a huge can of worms!

"Oh.....So work with fat people?" constantly just mouthing the word fat. Really? I mean REALLY? HELLO! I used to be one of those "fat" people!

He then goes on the invite me to an awesome party that would have all kind of artsy people and I was just so cute that he would make me one of the heroins of his books. Wow....Thanks. What I always wanted to be told. To make this much better I did not have my phone, or wedding rings on and I was by myself since both my girls went to stay with their Grammie and Pocker last night.

Do most women strap their purses in their buggies and make sure you button and zip it up? I do and did last night but it wasn't until maybe 10 minutes after I had gotten away from this guy that a rush of panic came over me that he or if he had a friend could have take something from me as I was distracted and put my back to my purse. Frantically I dug through my purse and went through my wallet to make sure everything was there, and thankfully it was.

I was finishing up my shopping trip with produce and I was very proud of myself this week because I bought some produce that I do not know what it is but I was trying it because I had never had it before. My Weight Watchers leader would be so proud! Then, I saw him again and this time with a friend. I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible but then I was cornered. His friend was interested in the tomatoes I had put in my buggy and tried to reach his hand into my buggy to get them. They happened to be sitting on my purse so I was a bit more upset. I was looking around for someone I could reach out to and finally I just prayed a prayer to God to protect me and to take away the fear that had set in.  Satan was winning at the grocery store and that was the scariest feeling in the world!

After getting my produce I did not see these guys again so I breathed a sigh of relief. I had them take my groceries out with me so I that I did not walk out alone. I was very thankful I had taken off that huge Scentsy sticker before getting groceries so my car was less identifiable to them and they couldn't get any of my information from it. I did a little ziggin' and zaggin' on the way home to make sure no one was following me and, yes I did look in my mirrors to make sure. Got home, gun loaded, dogs in and did a little praying for the fear to be taken away! It's amazing when you get that rush of relief when you pray for fear to be taken. I could feel God lifting that fear right off of me and telling me everything was ok.

I feel like this verse sums up my prayers last night.
Psalms 34:4 I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.

Believe

I love sharing my story with people! Tonight I was able to talk with an old friend about the Weight Watchers program and how much it has changed my life. I do not get paid to share my story and I do not get commission for telling people I recommend the program, I do it because it worked for me and I strongly believe in it! I forget sometimes how it felt and tonight I was taken back listening to my friends story. It's amazing how much us young moms share! I have had many ups and downs in my journey and, like I was trying to say to my friend, my journey is a constant journey. I am so happy to see that this blog is really reaching out and helping others and I pray that I can continue to help people make it to a healthier lifestyle!

Let's get Back in Business!

So this is how my morning is starting! As you know, I have really been an advocate for getting healthy, even when I have a trip-up with a cupcake! Philip and I are on a new journey together now and I can not be more excited!

This morning starts Day 1 of my 24 Day Challenge of Advocare. I have tried this before, but I did not have the desire to continue with it or the support of my spouse, and this takes some support! My initial reaction to Advocare was that I had to keep it on the down low because I work for Weight Watchers, BUT, guess what? This is to help me become even healthier by adding supplements that I do not get from my food and what better thing to do then become healthier right?

I am excited to start this journey with Philip and see where God takes us in all this. I started drinking Spark energy drinks made by Advocare back in February along with Omega 3 and Catalysts and signed up as a distributor just for the discount. We have now taken another look at it thank to some close friends of ours who are our advisers, and are now taking the leap of faith to trust in this product more the ever and make it more then just a discount, but a means to support our family! I encourage people to look into these amazing supplements to help them get healthier. Yes, you can go down to GNC and buy what they believe is better then our supplements, or go and get your buy one get one free vitamins from Walgreens, but I believe you get what you pay for.

I know that I said I would blog 365 days and have been off the charts for nearly two weeks now, but I am back and I want you to help keep me accountable for at least these next 24 days as I dive into this challenge. Prayers appreciated!  

Motivational Wednesday

I have decided to find something to help motivate you at least once a week, though I do hope that my post motivate you everyday! Here it is! Try to remember this as you start out on your weight loss journey.

Accountable to who?

I have found that the best way to do anything is to have a buddy. A Weight Watchers buddy, a workout buddy, and just a buddy to talk to and have fun!

Tonight I had the joy of spending time with a good friend at the gym. We were there for about an hour and thankfully it didn't feel that way!  The whole time we were able to talk and just enjoy the company. If it weren't for my workout buddy I don't believe I would have gone.

In all aspects of life we need support from everyone around us to achieve our goals, weather it be for weight loss or whatever it may be. Ultimately you should answer to yourself but it's always great to reach out to someone to support you! Stop making excuses and get out and get moving!

“Every excuse I ever heard made perfect sense to the person who made it. ”
― Dr. Daniel T. Drubin

Food for thought....

I came across this on Pinterest the other day and thought it would be a great thing to share! I believe this picture says it all. I hope everyone has had a wonderful Sunday!

It's Okay to Look a little Silly

Let me clarify first, I am not a runner, nor will I ever be a runner. I want to be a runner, but I already have pretty aggressive osteoarthritis in my knees and so that will never happen, but that does not keep me from getting my exercise in. My latest form of exercise that I absolutely love is Zumba! I do not have much coordination but the group of ladies that are at Zumba are amazing! I have heard from a lot of people that they do not like exercising because they are afraid that they look stupid or that they don't go to the gym because they are afraid of what other people there may think of them. A lot feel that they are not as beautiful as the woman next to them that has never really had to work at being skinny but has those awesome genes! You know what? I have been there done that! My first round at trying to get in shape my husband and I joined the gym. I had just had my youngest daughter and so I was certain I would hit the gym everyday and get back into shape! Well.....not so much! My daughter had lots of health issues in the beginning so I missed a lot of chances of going to the gym and then if I did go I could only workout for no more then an hour because of her age and her personality. Excuses. Shortly after joining weight watchers I found a new love for walking. Of course I could never go alone, so I would put one of my girls in a baby carrier on my back and we would walk anywhere from 3-5 miles a day! It never seemed like work to me because I got to enjoy time alone with one daughter at a time and to really reflect on how beautiful everything around me was. On one of my many walks with a little girl on my back, I had a lady stop and beg me to let her take me home. Apparently I looked a little homely and she thought I didn't have a car. I assured her I was exercising and after her begging me for nearly 10 minutes I was on my last half mile stretch till I got home. Now my primary form of exercise is Zumba and occasionally I do kickboxing which is a killer workout! The point of me writing this blog today was to encourage you to find something that you enjoy and stick with it! Yes, the girl next to you  my look hot but God made you and you are beautiful. I also believe that God wants us to be healthy and a great step towards that is to get active! Find a workout buddy or two that will help keep you accountable and who doesn't mind going walking with you.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:31 that whatever we do we’re to do it to the glory of God. It also tells us in Isaiah that we were created and formed by God to glorify Him.  This is our primary purpose in life – to glorify God. We do that when we care for our body and live a healthy lifestyle.

Become Healthy, not just Skinny

Girls don't just

simply decide to

hate their bodies, 

we teach them.

Something I have struggled with during my weight loss journey is knowing when I have lost enough. I wonder many days if I will ever feel "good enough" for the world. So many women will tell you that their struggle with food started when they were just children, either leading them to the most common eating disorder of eating too much or leading them to stop eating all together. 

I have come to a size now that I am constantly getting told how skinny I look and most of the time it just lifts me up and makes me feel amazing! Then there are those days that I have all that extra water weight and just don't really feel the way that I am told and think it's time to lose more instead of maintaining. Have you ever heard of fat girl syndrome?  It's where you used to be overweight and are finally healthy but still feel like that fat girl you used to be. I am still struggling with this even though I know that I am healthy. I don't like saying skinny because I believe there can be such a negative image with that as well, but I sure don't feel like it some days especially when I have my slip ups....like eating two cupcakes in a row! 

I have learned through this that I want to teach my girls the importance of being healthy, NOT that they need to be skinny. The world has made the image of how women and girls should look like to a little bitty thing when in all honesty, that girl you see in that picture is not healthy in how she eats. God tells us many times in the Bible just how beautiful we are. Through this blog I pray that I can help other women seek a healthy lifestyle and also realize just how beautiful they are. 

 

Song of Solomon 4:1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!

I will do better the next meal!

Cupcakes are a weakness of mine.... Yesterday evening was my two new nieces birthday parties. As most of you know my mom got married last week to a great guy and not only did I get an awesome father figure but I also got two pretty awesome siblings! Barry's daughter and her husband are stationed in Massachusetts and they have two daughters, Kaitlyn and Emma. Both are summer babies so we decided to celebrate their birthdays Texas style! Both girls got Texas shaped cakes and then we had cupcakes..... So before dinner I gave in to my desire and at a cupcake. If you follow Weight Watchers then you know that they are a whopping 9 points a piece! After eating a cupcake, we followed it with dinner....Lasagna! Thankfully my new sister-in-law made it with turkey and low fat cheeses making one serving only 7 points. After dinner it was cupcake time! I promised myself I was NOT going to eat another cupcake!  Well......I gave in. And I am not going to lie, it was amazing! Came home and ate me a package of skinny cow chocolate/caramel clusters (4 pts) and headed to bed! I am allowed 32 points a day. My total for yesterdays foods was a whopping 53 points! WOW! At first I didn't want to track my food intake for the day. I knew it was going to be bad and I didn't even want to face it, but the fact is we have to if we want to do something about our weight. At my last weight watchers meeting our leader, Christine, reiterated the fact that we can always do better the next meal. Did you read that right? The next meal, NOT the next day. Don't give up just because you screw up. Keep striving to do better and never give up! It may take two years but you will get there!

Inspirations through Small Eyes

Everyone has something that inspires them, right? Well here are my inspirations! I want to be able to do things with them and not be held back. I want to be able to ride a roller coaster and not have the worry that the safety bar not being able to click down. I want to be able to feel comfortable swimming with them at a public place. I want them to be proud of who I am and how I look. And I want them to see a healthy image of a woman. So many little girls are subjected to negative images and I want mine to see the positive through all of that. What is your inspiration?

Finding the Skinny inside of me.

Me at my heaviest: 197.8

Have you ever seen that cartoon of a really large person with a really skinny person trying to bust out? That's how I have felt throughout my weight loss journey! Let me start with my story. I was never really overweight growing up, but as a teen I was always as the top of my weight limit for my height.I always stayed around 150-155 from the time I was in middle school.  I always would make the excuse that as long as I could still fit into a single digit size pair of pants that I would never worry about it. Shortly after graduating I went to England for four months. Everyone has heard rumors of food there being pretty awful, right? Well they weren't lying! I spent most of my four months eating bread and cheese and would throw in an English Pasty every now and then. Well everyone knows that carb overload leads to weight gain. After my four months in England, I came home at a whopping 165. You may be thinking that it doesn't sound bad, but if you look at weight and height, I was five pounds overweight. No big deal right? I mean, I wasn't obese so nothing to worry about! Six months after coming home from London, I married my amazing husband Philip! I don't know if anyone tells you this, but getting married adds about 10-15 pounds! I was now up to 175 but it still wasn't anything to worry about! I was still able to wear a size 10 in clothes which in juniors was a 9 so I was STILL, or so I thought, in the safe zone! Nine months after getting married, SURPRISE! We were pregnant! During my first 5 months of pregnancy I actually lost 10 pounds without the morning sickness! Of course I wasn't complaining but my doctor was. Shortly after that fifth month I had no problem gaining weight.....When I had Anna-Claire I was at 208. My wonderful husband had the audacity to make a comment about how I weighed more then he did while I was getting ready to deliver our first child! Anna-Claire was born weighing in at 8 lbs .5 oz and I left the hospital having lost only 13 pounds. That's not how it's supposed to go right? I mean you go in, have the baby and POOF you are skinny again! WRONG! I was able to get down to 178 without really trying somehow and then SURPRISE! We found out we were pregnant again 9 months later! Within the first week I gained 10 lbs. That's right, TEN POUNDS! Thankfully it slowed down and I went in weighing at 206 when I gave birth to Aubrey. Once again I left the hospital having dropped down to 190 and thrilled to have two sweet little girls. At my six week check up I weighed in around 184 which was below what I weighed in at my first appointment.I was thrilled! I thought the weight would just fall right off! Little did I know that I was a stress eater. As many know, Aubrey was a hard baby to handle. I fell into postpartum depression and gained back almost all of my weight. I didn't give myself anytime because I was constantly running from one doctors appointment to the next with Aubrey and making sure Anna-Claire received the attention she needed. When Aubrey was nearly a year everything with her health finally started calming down. One night in June I had my breaking point and poured my heart out to my  best friend about how horrible I felt in my own skin and how disgusted I was with myself. I had let myself go. I weighed in at 197;9 and was almost in a size 18. That same night I signed myself up for weight watchers and a week later walked into my first meeting with Aubrey in her carrier and Anna-Claire in tow! My starting weight with weight watchers was 192,8. I stuck with it until December 2010 when I had finally reached my goal size. Remember I said size not weight. I switched to weight watchers online and failed miserably. So I took a break from Weight Watchers and steadily started gaining the weight that I had worked hard at losing, back. Jump forwards to April 2012 and I rejoined weight watchers for the third time. In June I hit my goal weigh and then some! My original goal was 160 and then to 155. When I went to weigh in for the 155 weigh in I weighed 150.8! Then started my maintenance for 6 weeks. That was harder then losing weight! Skip forward to today and I just did my six week weigh-in and I am at 149.0 and wearing anywhere from a 4-8! It's amazing how far I have come! I have so much more confidence and I really feel good about myself! I am now a mom that I feel my girls will be proud to be seen with as they get older.  I bought a bikini this year for the first time in 7 years! And I just bought a whole new wardrobe and just feel amazing!  I am getting ready to start working for weight watchers and can not wait to see how God uses me to help other women., and men, achieve their goals! Whew, that was long! Sorry it is all together and if you made it through give yourself a pat on the back! English is not my strong area! Please pray for me as I start this new journey as a Lifetime Member with weight watchers and start working for them. I will update this blog as much as I can! I am planning on adding an updated picture of myself as soon as I can! I love getting my picture taken now! ;)